I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
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