i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
