she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
