Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
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