Kiss
Puke
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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