I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Randomize
