I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
