I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Randomize
