the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
