drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
