so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
3pm strippers are depressing
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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