We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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