i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
