Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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