You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
It's blow job season.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
