I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
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