Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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