I just made out with a guy for $7.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
