Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
