dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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