she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I think I died a long time ago.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
