I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
