It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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