in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I'm bleeding and have questions
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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