last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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