Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
