Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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