Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize