does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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