the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
