I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
