I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
We were destined to go to rehab together
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
