i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
