I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
