TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
