I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
