Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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