it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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