just tell him i said nine months
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I think I sprained my soul last night
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
