somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
