dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
