he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
