The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
