she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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