Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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