The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Randomize
