My sheets look like a crime scene.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
