Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Never underestimate the power of titties
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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