All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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