are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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