Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize