Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
