we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
farters have to be the big spoon...
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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