I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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