shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize