i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize