My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
