i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
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