im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Randomize
