ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
