Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
