i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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