she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Randomize
