I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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