i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
