i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
