no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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