That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
