dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize